the flaws that you never see

Don't take someone's silence as her pride, she might be busy fighting with herself - Ali bin Abi Thalib

post jet lag

slm alayk,

hovering over experiences of riding over planes, nothing beats the feeling of coming back home. alhamdulillah Allah ease everything. turned out feeling good when seeing familiar faces. all you have to do is straighten your niat. of coming back home for good. i remembered one experience happened to be at auckland international airport. when your handsocks and spectacles were tossed out into a dustbin. with the assumption from the cleaner that it was a rubbish with no claim from any flight passenger. well you could expect how frusfrated i were.it was the favourite dark brown handsock that i happened to save for any special event. turned out to be tossed into the bin. uhm. yeah. well. it happened. sad case. it is even sadder to know that i mourn over a small loss as compared to the palestinians. to fight over personal temptations and not the soul lost. reflecting on gaza people, i should be ashamed for that they fight for lives and not over trifles. you could not be more grateful than knowing that you are not in a qittal jihad (physical struggle).

a transition of time and place.
just like the change of season.

for Gaza. may you are granted syahid.
victory or syahid.


and for now.
i have to resist the rebellions in myself when i see the reality at my homeland. crappy dramas and never ending singing competition. oh did i mention the neglected ikhtilat and the western wannabe through clothes department in shopping complex? the reason why i prefer to stay at home few days before going out. you know, mental adjustments. now stop the rebel in your chest like you feel you want to explode.

welcoming homeland culture.
mehnah for sure.

to ponder

to not to feel superior

when seeing other's flaws

mungkin orang kata

kebaikan sentiasa berada di sisimu

kalam terucap rendah

walhal diri mendabik tinggi

ingat

jangan pernah lupa

lemahmu terhijab dengan hemah

aibmu tersimpan di balik resah

Rabbmu 

Dia melindung segala sesuatu

ingat

pesanku pada diri yang pilu

T_T

wida'

assalamualaikum wbt

Ketika masuk tahun baru, bukan persoalan doa itu yang utama. Diri kita tu, jiwa kita tu, masih yang lama ke atau sudah bertukar yang baru? 

Kalau masih dengan jiwa yang lama, sikap yang lama (yang tidak baik), awak bacalah doa apapun, ya akhi, tak ada maknanya. 

Perubahan itu dari dalam ke luar, akhi. Bukan dari luar ke dalam.
Kalau nta sibuk doa saja, tapi usahanya tak ke mana, jiwa nta pun jiwa yang usang, tak usaha dibaiki, tak ada apa juga, ya akhi.

              (afdholul rahman) 

wida'
for the ambience
for this cold breeze
for the hilly roads and steep pavements
for the stair that keeps you gasping for more
for the lectures that's more or less keep you in conscious
for the tictacs that heals your nausea
for the akhawats that keeps you company
for the soul retreats that keeps your head up
for the ups and downs that keeps your heart strong

a wida' to a place once known as my turning point of life 
a wida' to immaturedness and moving on to reality.

a whole new door to opportunity and mihnah along this life journey

salam maal hijrah.

may Allah forgive our sins in the past.

may the new journey starts with new soul.

may the path that we will pave leads to the pleasure of Allah

NZ bits & pieces

the last bits

dalam masa 2 tahun,
cara pandang terhadap sesuatu isu mula berubah,
terutama bila bandingkan diri sekarang dengan diri 5 tahun lepas,
dan tak mustahil perspektif dan pemikiran akan berubah lagi mengikut masa.
pengalaman, mengajar erti kematangan.

-ukhti mazidah hasanah-


By the age of 20 you should be wise enough to choose ur wording in public, so as to prevent urself from being a joke, a disappointment, a lunatic and apart of slander. This is not hypocrisy, but dignity.

-ukhti khalilah-


slowly accepting life as it is. digesting on what is going on. reflecting on what had been done. moving forward to final year TESOL student. embracing self on expectations & reality.

a countdown of leaving a meaningful place to me. carving every inch of the moment before it's too late.
the middle of the middle earth.
who could expect to be like this?
gloomy days towards 20nov.

Di dalam hati ada sebuah kesedihan yg tidak akan mampu diseka kecuali oleh kebahagiaan yg tumbuh kerana mengenal Allah dan ketulusan berinteraksi denganYa.
Pun di dalam hati terdapat sebuah kegelisahan yg tidak mampu ditenangkan kecuali dengan berhumpun kerana Allah dan pergi meninggalkan kegelisahan itu menuju Allah. 
Ada gejolak api yg tidak mampu dipadamkan kecuali oleh keredhaan akan perintah, larangan dan keputusan Allah yg diiringi dengan ketabahan dan kesabaran sampai tiba saat perjumpaan denganNya.

ibadah sepenuh hati.


-via sis j fb-



-----------------

yosh! assignment!

the middle earth sisterhood

salam alayk,

i guess this would be the short post. alhamdulillah, we've had a sister's night. it was awesome subhanallah. Malam Apresiasi Cinta Kita. hm. catchy yet meaningful. a deep touch in everyone's heart. jazakunallahu khayr sisters for the countless effort and love. great food, great people & insyaAllah amazing ukhuwwah. i guess it's a bit sad for me to leave wellington in 3 weeks time. i'll miss the moments, the place that i used to think back of what i want to do in my life. the people, the touch, the environment. the tarbiyyah itself.. long pause. back to reality soon. may Allah ease everything. may whatever happens next would be a great hikmah to myself. may all these sacrifices worth well to jannah. may we meet in every rabitah supplication, and forever in jannah. lovee.

paradise- Maher Zain

eidul adha this year

Pengorbanan bukanlah sekadar dari tumbangnya lembu, kambing sahaja..
tapi pengorbanan dalam meninggalkan karat-karat jahiliyah juga perlu..
perngorbanan jiwa dalam melawan hawa nafsu dll

(kak iman's)

assignment booster

aired live from kelburn parade

while doing assignment 

Education policy: education, social and environmental justice

Allah sent these sweet akhawats

to us

jazakillahu khayr sisters

for the soul & body booster

hewhew

love love bertebaran

~weeee

^^

ini jalanku

tafsiran akal atau hati.
penat. lelah.
kau kira kan usaha yang tak sudah.

berdiri.
menongkah arus biarpun sendiri.
kau fikir tentang apa yang ada di hati.
pernah kau fikir apa yang terjadi
di kelilingmu?

kau fikir arus itu hanya hasutan nafsu.
sinis.
dan terus menongkah laju.
namun.
satu persatu asakan singgah di kalbu.
kau berpaling.
dan terdetik.
apakah itu jalan yang kau pilih?

jika benar itu jalannya
mengapa ada yang lebih bahagia?
jika benar itu jalannya
mengapa masih terasa sesak di dada?
tersekat. menggumam.

sadarkah engkau akan asakan tanda
dari pelosok arah matamu?
sadarkah engkau akan nikmat ditarik
dari masa silammu?
dan engkau masih lagi mampu mendongak
riyak berkata ini jalannya?

sadarlah hati..
mungkin ini yang terbaik buatmu..
dunia ini memerlukan semangat juangmu.
tepis kemahuan itu.
kerana yang Maha Besar lebih mengenalimu.

Quest for Meaning

"why you feel scared of them?

some people are scared of other religion, because they themselves don't know who they are.
it doesn't mean that you have to believe, but to know why you don't believe (of other religion), why you don't accept, why this no longer you, you need to know.

freedom.

you think you're free but there is always limitations of life where you have to eat, sleep and so on. you start to think of what's the meaning of your freedom? 
you never experience freedom without getting the sense of what discipline is. you learn to free yourself from your ego. because without discipline, the ego is the first jail of yourself.

master your emotions, or else you're going to be trapped by it.
suspend your judgment. apply more of your educational empathy to understand the reason why others are doing something.
love more & judge less."

-------------------------------------------------------

inspiring speech by prof tariq ramadan.
let's come back to the root of our questions.
or shall i say mine;
why is your ego is hard to be dealt with? 
seeking for the answer still.

alunan rasa itu
seperti bayangan ilusi
sukar untuk ditafsir
tapi
mengapa senang dimengerti
dari titisan air yang jatuh di pipi
.....

aksimu menggambarkan siapa dirimu

duhai insan yang ku kasihi
inginku tuturkan kepadamu
bahawa
kerisauanku bukan hanya terbatas dengan singkatnya waktu
kegusaranku lebih untuk menarikmu
jauh 
kembali dari dirimu yang dahulu

aku sedar
perangaiku untuk mengenalimu bukan dari
setiap gerak-gerimu
bukan dari apa yang kau jalani dalam hidup berliku

tapi
sedarkah wahai dirimu
bahwa itu sebenarnya pancaran warna hatimu?

ingin ku selami apa yang tersirat di balik lisan yang terkunci
di setiap hirauan yang tak dipeduli
di sebalik persoalan yang menanti

harapan kepada.
sebuah destinasi yang kekal abadi.
tetapkan hatimu!
luruskan saf mu!



tapi...


hati
mengapa kau berbolak-balik?



T_T

Auckland pictorial moment made with love

*from my humble sony ericsson phone*

The Wintergarden

Hulucat bubble tea

UOA

sand castle @Piha beach

Evening clouds @Piha beach

Auckland domain

Auckland domain

Rainbow @Auckland Hospital

Warmest home and people @Baitul Hafiy

Skytower Auckland @ the balcony

orange cake cream cheese topping
with love
^^

[giggle]

A: awat? (sambil lipat baju masuk dalam luggage)
B: takde ape. duk teringat dulu-dulu. cemane lah boleh 'terjebak' dengan dakwah ni. tak pernah terfikir pun boleh end up sampai ke sini. [giggle]
A: [giggle as well] la aku lagi lah. anti ni ha dengan budak tudung labuh.
B: ha lahh. macam alim sangat lah pulak kan. tapi tu lah. perancangan Allah ni lama. lama jugak lah kan nak notice. untuk sampai sini (New Zealand) macam-macam jadi.

[giggle]
B: sekarang kita pulak yang rasa effect being on 'the other side' of people's perspective.

----------------------------------------------------

we don't know what waits ahead.
like 10 weeks before heading home.
where we stand?
moga Allah kuat2kan hati kita.
sungguh.
dah mula rindu untuk tinggalkan NZ..
the fact of visiting Auckland for the last time.
the jaulah.
the people.
am not gonna forget those feelings.





akhawats.
rindu
:')

Mengapa kita tertindas?

"Mengapa kita menjadi korban bencana dari segala penjuru? Mengapa mereka yang kita sebut orang-orang kafir, yakni hamba-hamba Allah yang membangkang kepadaNya, dimana-mana menguasai kita? Dan mengapa kita, yang menyatakan diri sebagai hamba-hambaNya yang patuh, diperbudak orang dimana-mana? 

Semakin saya merenungkan sebab dari situasi ini, semakin saya merasa yakin bahawa satu-satunya perbezaan yang tinggal antara kita dengan orang-orang kafir sekarang ini hanyalah perbezaan dalam nama sahaja, sedangkan KITA SAMA LUPANYA KEPADA ALLAH DENGAN MEREKA, SAMA TIDAK TAKUTNYA KEPADANYA, DAN SAMA PULA PEMBANGKANGNYA DENGAN MEREKA, ORANG-ORANG KAFIR."

-Abu A'ala Al-Maududi, Dasar-dasar Islam-


-----------------------------------------------------------------


kita sama sebenarnya seperti mereka.
perasuah.
memakan daging saudara sendiri.
riba.
lalu bagaimana nikmat iman itu dikecapi
sedang diri masih hanyut dengan duniawi?
T_T

true love :')

by yasmin mogahed
fall in love with the real thing

*hati berbunga*

bukan sekadar aturan

dear kawan,


orang kata hidup ni memang ada flow
flow yang kadang-kadang kita buat sendiri
kononnya macam bermatlamat lah sangat


tapi betul ke semua benda yang kita buat ni betul?


betul?
bila kata jubah tu kan islamik even ikut shape badan?
betul bila kata alah, MLM tu kan bisnes.halal ape?
dan betul ke bila kata 'berkawan' tu sebab ada tujuan ke arah baitul muslim?


betul-betul sure?


ke sebab tu semua cuma alasan untuk menampakkan apa yang haram tu halal?


trust me kawanku,
tak semua benda yang nampak macam 'islamik' tu betul.
tu semua saduran semata-mata.
antara yang hak dengan batil tak mungkin akan bercampur.
memang tak.


cubalah untuk melihat semua benda tu dari kaca mata islam yang betul.
cubalah.
you'll be fascinated by it.
you can really see the difference. the gap that Allah SWT has put on it.


& saya juga tengah berusaha. dan terus mencuba.

muhasabah

T_T

welcoming you

Lord of Ramadhan,
Ramazan’ın efendisi
You make me see the light
Işığı görmemi sağladın
From your first day to the last
İlk günden son güne dek
You’re Paradise inside
Cennetinin içinde
Why, I can feel your presence
Varlığını hissedebiliyorum
In the morning and the night
Gündüz ve gece
You feed me without food
Beni gıdasız besledin
Just with your words so true and right
Öyle doğru ve gerçek sözlerle

Ramazan ruh’ul Rahman
Ramazan şehr’ül Qur’an
Ramazan feyz’ül Mennan
Fütihat fih’il cinan

Ya Ramazan seni bekledik
Dört gözle hadi gel dedik
Doyamadım senin Rahmetine
Dayanamadım senin hasretine
Allah(c.c.) yağdır şefkatini
Allah(c.c.) dindir derdimizi
Gelmiş Ramazan’ın ilk on günü
Nurlandırdı kalplerimizi
Şefkat yağdı üzerimize günlerimize
Rahman ismini bize göster
Bize göklerden indir cümlemize yine bu sene
Hamdolsun sana Yaradanım…
Şeytanları zincire bağladın…
Hamdolsun sana Yaradanım
Günleri geçmesin hiç Ramazan’ın…

Ramazan ruh’ul Rahman
Ramazan şehr’ül Kur’an
Ramazan feyz’ül Mennan
Fütihat fih’il cinan

Ramazanin meyveleri daha tesis edilmemiş
Biz bir nehiriz hiç bir yere akmayan
Bir gemiye binip bize gel ve Allah(c.c.)’a pişmanligini göster
Sonsuza kadar O’nun adı ile yaşa ve O’na bağlı kal
Günahlarindan pisman ol Allah(c.c.) seni af eder.

Ramazan ruh’ul Rahman
Ramazan şehr’ül Kur’an
Ramazan feyz’ül Mennan
Fütihat fih’il cinan


^^

lepaskan

lepaskan rasa itu
lepaskan
kau tahu jahiliyyah itu
lepaskan


wahai hati

takdir

credit: zilaluna

PIBER much?

yosh!

towards mardhotillah

coming soon ^^

Thanks

[part 1]


Salam alayk.




rolling over the browser on facebook. holidays. exams. weddings. as expected. last MABIT (a night of building iman and taqwaa) we reflected on how much we devoted ourselves to Allah, qualitatively. sharing on how much supply that we prepare before we die. yes. death. we're pretty much aware on how we're scared of it. but yet spending so much time rolling over in the duvet, scrolling facebook and not to forget lamenting on how much our lives are as to compare to others. *facepalm


when you feel that you're running out of time but yet getting good grades in assignments. when you feel you've studied hard enough but you just screwed your test. when you feel there isn't much money but yet someone treated you some meals. when you feel that you've lots of money but you feel not enough. i felt that. where does all these come from?


“And if Allah touches you with affliction, none can remove it but He: But if He bestows upon you a favor, remember that He is the Possessor of every power to do all that He wills.” (AQ 6:17)


remember. that. life. is. a. test.


you should be thankful. i should. we should. for this lives that we live. for this heartbeat. these 2 years in New Zealand made most of my thoughts. for past few months that seemed like nothing but mujahadah. i thank Allah for a few moments of experiencing death. Kullu nafsin za'iqatul maut- all souls shall taste death (3:185). Allahu Allah.... 


T_T

from a friend: jilbab

mengapa muslimat belum berjilbab?
1. Belum tahu tujuan, hikmah & hukum jilbab wajib (QS 33:59)
2. Tahu tetapi belum siap (bersedia)
3. Sangat cinta dunia
4. Banyaknya ma'siyat sehingga merasa belum pantas (layak) berjilbab
5. Pengaruh keluarga, lingkungan, pendidikan, kebiasaan & budaya sekuler
6. Anggapan kalau Islam itu hanya ritual sholat, haji dll, 
7. Anggapan yg penting aku baik padahal agama adalah tunduk patuh pada SYARIATNYA
8. Pengalaman jelek pada wanita berjilbab yg buruk ahklaknya padahal Islam adalah agama sampul (jilbab) & isi (ahklak mulia)
9. Merasa tidak cantik dengan berjilbab, padahal kecantikan sebenarnya ta'kala menjadi wanita sholehah
10. Belum tahu dosa besar dengan siksa pecut api neraka pada bagian aurat yg terbuka. 


SubhanAllah, mulailah mempelajarinya, jangan malu, gengsi, minder, menunda2 lagi, banggalah sebagai wanita mu'minat & belajarlah kpd sahabat terdekat yg indah istiqomah dg jilbabnya, hidup kita didunia ini sekedar mampir (persinggahan)


-via Sri Puji Astuti fb-

---------------------------------
reminding each other

semoga Allah membukakan pintu hatimu, sahabatku

spread the love~

apabila

Apabila kamu teringatkan seseorang

perbanyaklah olehmu ISTIGHFAR

apabila kamu lupa tentang apa yg kamu pelajari

perbanyaklah SALAWAT

apabila kamu ingin wajah berseri & sejuk mata memandang

perbanyaklah SOLAT DHUHA

apabila kamu inginkan perlindungan & kekuatan hati

perbanyaklah TAHAJUD

dan apabila kamu inginkan malaikat mendampingimu & mengelak dari pandangan nafsu syaitan

hendaklah kamu senantiasa berada dalam keadaan berwudhu.

Wallahu'alam


-E-usrah-

little project with big hearts ;D

May 21 - May 24

^^

the chocolate power

intifada reformed.
may us be the bricks to the victory of Islam.
aminn.

buffering

it has been a long time since i've read a book
like really
suddenly teringat pasal terlalu mengejar dunia
T_T
should've finished reading salim a. fillah's by now
i mean few months back
. . . . . . . . 

the liking

bulatan gembira

^^

Utama kan yang utama. 

Cari cara bagaimana nak khusyuk dalam solat dahulu sebelum cari cara bagaimana nak 


khusyuk dalam hidup berdua secara halal. Ok?






-via a friend's fb-

Dan daripada Waabisoh ibn Ma'bad r.a. beliau berkata: Aku telah menemui Rasulullah SAW lalu. Baginda bersabda: Engkau datang mahu bertanya tentang kebajikan? Aku berkata: Ya. Baginda bersabda:


Mintalah fatwa kepada hatimu. Kebaikan itu adalah apa-apa yang jiwa tenteram kepadanya, juga tenteram dalam hati. Dosa itu adalah apa-apa yang syak dalam jiwa dan ragu-ragu dalam hati meskipun orang-orang memberi fatwa kepadamu dan mereka membenarkannya. (Hadis Hasan riwayat al-lmam Ahmad dan al-Daarimie dengan isnad yang baik).


-Salim A. Fillah, Biar Bidadari Mencemburuimu-

Wellington Botanic Garden, New Zealand 2011

revealing the truth

first of all,
this entry isn't about study. or life in nz. just an emotional driven writing.


i know that this is lame but i can be a serious stalker. y'know at one point it's just for fun but then.. affection tags along. reading about how people tells about their life, travelling, emotions that i could portray in mind. this stalking gets weirder when it's like someone who's like you, writing their experiences back then. and how could i being so judgmental that thinking she is pampering herself, writing out loud and knows nothing but money and herself. how could i be so judgmental that she actually travelled this journey with better thoughts than me. she writes something that inspires her. i write craps most of the time. swallow back your words, azean. you're just too fragile to not notice how bright your life is when you're not comparing it to others. i know i shouldn't judge people. why is this so hard for me to bear... it's depressing to know how this similarity keeps lingering in my mind. and those people, those places that reminds me of it. how could these all be the same. how could these people are interconnected with each other. how could we have the same passion. how could this feeling always stays the same...
o Lord..... 

Ramai orang dengan tak sedar memilih untuk sedih, derita, stress, boring & dibenci org lain. Orang yang bijak memilih untuk bahagia dengan banyak berdoa, yakin yang Allah Maha Pengasih & beri kita yang terbaik, redha dengan setiap yang berlaku, cari hikmah dalam semua hal, banyak senyum, bantu orang, belanja orang, maafkan orang, pakai minyak wangi, solat taubat, istighfar, tengok kartun, syukur dengan apa yang di depan mata, buat kebaikan, nasihatkan orang, dsbnya. Orang bahagia insya Allah sihat, orang sayang, mudah buat keputusan, berjaya dalam pelajaran/ kerjaya,hidup berkat, tinggalkan legasi hebat & Allah redha. Wassalam '' - Dr.Fadzilah-

I'm gonna do that.
Aku hanya mahu menjadi hamba yang bahagia keranaNya..
;')