what's in the facebook today

Mencintai seseorang itu adalah hak kita, namun memiliki sseorang yg kita cintai tanpa ikatan rasmi itu bukan hak kita.

Jgn pernah takut melepaskan ssuatu yg blm brhak kita miliki, Dia pasti akan kembali, andainya Allah jadikan ia utk kau miliki, atau Allah ganti dgn yg jauh lebih baik dari yg kita cintai.

Jgn pernah takut khilangan sesuatu yg BUKAN menjadi hak kita, jgn kau tangisi apa yg bukan milikmu (عائشة حميرة, 2011)

credit :eyza's

ya Allah, patheticnya hidup ni bila asyik fikir pasal orang lain. Sampai mimpi pun yang bukan-bukan. semuanya sebab rasa insecure. syaitan memang suka cucuk-cucuk ni. sampai kadang-kadang lupa tujuan hidup ni sebenarnya. nampak orang tu suka benda macam ni, diri pun rasa nak jadi macam tu.rasa macam inferior pulak.  


wahai hati, biarkan lah apa yang orang buat, apa yang ada dalam hati mereka. semuanya dalam lingkungan kuasa Allah. kadang-kadang memang rasa sakit hati. tapi Allah lebih tahu. hm. i'm praying for better days ahead. 


rindunya nak duduk dalam taman syurga... :(

A picture of your favourite memory

rindu nak pergi roadtrip dengan family. having dinner together. i remembered this time like we're really hungry that we just stopped for food at random restaurant. kuantan i think. still few hours more to reach kuala terengganu. when my sister just got misunderstood by her order. tembikai susu (honeydew) that was understood tembikai + susu (watermelon and milk) by the waiter.lol. but minus the bill part. rm99 when we always have that kind of dish for about rm50+ or 60+? pffft. how people make business and how we love food. cess. bab-bab makan ni memang suka. too bad i didn't have photos of us enjoying seafood at senibong. or photos of mine enjoying seafood at semeling. 

we didn't know that we missed someone until you felt so far away from them.

petrouchka, ballerina and moor

it's quite a busy week that i left the blog unattended. tests are coming next week and gotta be prepared as the marks from previous test was not very convincing. but yeah, human need breaks. i'd just submitted the last assignment for this semester, & take instant rest. 

so here comes the ballet show story. i'm not that fond of ballet and classical music. let alone the black swan. since we (TESOL students) have this cultural events, we've got to pick 2 events to be attended. so, i chose ballet show and matariki event (a maori one). we've to attend the show and pay for it. students price were 25nzd but we managed to pay only 8nzd ;D *tell me who doesn't like cheap stuff.lol*. headed to St. James theatre, with nothing to be expected. well i didn't really know that the dress code is quite formal. people wearing night dress, pearl necklace, fur coats, bow tie; things like that. now look at me, what i'm wearing? denim jeans and shirt. -_-''''' luckily there's much students who just dressed casually that i felt not out of place. like really. 

the theatre itself resembles much influence of the English style stage. huge crimson curtains, curvy shaped audience seats, with magnificent chandelier. the lighting somehow just drag you to shakepeare's era. reminded me of shakespeare in love movie with gwyneth paltrow in it. as that was the first time i watched ballet, i couldn't be much more excited than before. haha. 

the man with bow tie and the entrance itself shows how much formality is defined.

coat counter. $1 for each hang.

#1 the seats arrangement. #2 the stage. #3 audience taking up seats before the show begins. #4 live orchestra down under. did i forget to tell you that they're awesome? 

the show was divided into three parts; classical, modern, and the best part- petrouchka story. a story that's just used movement and face expression. though there's no dialogue, people enjoyed it. & there's intervention between each part. back in malaysia, we used to eat popcorn or sausages when we watch something. now i wonder why people enjoy eating ice-cream in a ballet theatre? looks weird when you dress nicely but then wait, you're eating ice-cream like kids? err macam tak cool aje. the show lasted for about 2hours.

during intervention. we didn't bring food. so, just camwhore.

typical perempuans (nad,2011)

lol.

a friend of mine managed to get a snapshot during the applause. music conductor, director & people involved.

clap3.

indeed an experience that worth the money. is this how people get satisfaction when they enjoy live performances? i get it.



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fragile

 play natasha bedingfield : I bruise easily

My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I cant hide the marks
Its not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defences down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
Theres a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can't scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you

So be gentle...

I bruise easily
I bruise easily 

Of heater and cubicle

it's sunday afternoon. just ended conversation with family through skype. it's a nice thing to do during weekend, seeing your home & the breakfast that you miss. talked with your sisters & laugh for silly things. we shared stories;what happened back at home. poor me lil sis kept on saying to dad that i'm broke and can't afford to buy myself nice lunch; though it's nearly indeed true. well maybe because we didn't go to sunday market & PAK n Save to restock our groceries. weekend should be fun isn't it? yeah in a way.. but i just lock myself in the room, staring at the laptop screen for hours. i did my eating and sleeping within this four walls of the room. pathetic. like a loser who just experienced heart-break. well that's life. 


another story.


i feel unsure for what had happened to me. you know when you're scared of something, and that some people around you experience it? you've just visualize it in your mind but with god's permission, other people verbalize it. in a way, you're being skeptical. you don't want the same thing to happen to you. you've seen it so many times that you could feel the pain. tell me how on earth would you avoid that? instant healing: sleep. great. it's the least i could do. and waking up the next day still thinking about that? yup. how sad human is. sadder when you're ruining other people's life. 


lessons for today:


money doesn't guarantee happiness
old flame could be sparked again
carilah redha Allah dahulu;nescaya redha manusia itu akan ada




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immediate heal

.

DUNIA ini terlalu HINA untuk membuat kita MENANGIS,

terlalu MURAH untuk membuat kita BERSEDIH,

terlalu LEMAH untuk membuat kita PUTUS ASA.

-azahz- 

up next

st james theatre,wellington, new zealand

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Day 6 – A song to match your mood.

i miss home.

enough said.

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hating midnight

it's not like you're freaking scared for ghost to pass by. not not. not when you're worried about life more than you could ever think of ghost. i don't know why but when it comes to midnight, i can be supersensitive. i see things and put lots on emotions on it. i view things seriously. even status on facebook could annoy me much. i'm judging people sometimes on their words. sometimes. that happens only at midnight. you know when you're worried about your future, afterlife, thinking about possible reasons why people hate you, even on how to put on effort to help people. heish. maturity isn't what i talk about. almost reaching it. almost. but not now. i'm stuck between my adolescence craves and a lady's need.

enjoying fish & chips with wintermelon milk tea. walking by cuba street and adoring live performances. buying groceries, getting receipts and still smiling. how i wish life would be that simple.

5. What makes you different from everyone else?

 ah tak suke ah jawab soklan exam camni. i can't think of one. if i'm saying that i'm good in arts, why did i major in english? if i were good in dancing, i'd surely done this eversince.hmm.

1. i love clorets so much. ocean mint flavour. gonna die for it.wahahaha. though it's just a mint, i can practically eat it like rice. *exaggerate tak? lol~ i'll make sure i have one in my handbag. & some stocks in the drawer. unfortunately, there's no clorets in new zealand. sobsob. they only got (the famous ones) eclipse and wrigleys. i can't swallow the eclipse one. looks like some medication tablets that i'll always hinder myself from taking it. syrup medication looks like sooo childish. but i don't care. this leads to what differs me from everyone else in second place (mcm connecting sentences tak for academic writing?? -_-'''')

2. you don't know how much i hate medications like forever. ughhh. i could stay on fever for few days as i don't really want to take panadols. & yeah. people around me are great in persuading me to take one. duhh. praying for health is all that it takes everyday.

3. i love green stuff but i'm not turning myself into kind of freak towards it. some sort of adore, but not maniac. when did i develop this fancy? perhaps back in high school. hey you know what, i don't really adore a thing in my life. say if i were to pick any number, or any car, i'll just go on random. no serious things here.

4. i may look like a snobbish person to you, but i don't really act like one. people always misunderstand me that way. i can be nice to people. even if you're making evil stare at me, i'll smile back. no offense. hard look doesn't reflect my personality. so, hye friends!

turning the linguistics mode on

-where's the button?

all I could find was just the hibernate one

lame

credit

epilogue

At the moment of present

the soul. Empty

the mind. Clueless

why is it happen again?

The heart that might be broken

The feeling that is taken

The person that is fading away

Leaving me here, like a stray.

 

An autumn in the middle of summer

A sadness in the middle of laughter

And raining in the middle of Sahara.

Looking throughout the chaos

Like a war in sleepy lake

Is this a life that I should bear and take?

 

Fake and fear

That’s running across the mind

The epilogue of life that is not always kind.

A multi-coated people

Who’s wearing a selfish mask

Rushing and pushing the innocent in completing task.

 

It’s love that hurts the lovers

It’s betrayal that tears many friends forever

It’s the disease that people fear

It’s the world that we live together.

Every time we learn to live

Sometimes we learn to deal

Why should we beg and appeal

For something that is unreal?

 

Why should we fake

To get what it takes;

It’s hard to break

When there is a mistake.

 

I don’t want to be like a petal

Pretty one but losing its grip in the end,

A beauty that is a vain.

I’d rather be a root

Even it lies underneath the foot

A support of strength that is endless

Though people see it as meaningless

-3.31 am. may,2009-